A Mothers Perspective

WARNING, this is a long one!
Since Monday my world has been crazy: finding out we are having boy #5, girls camp, and of course the crazy popularity of our silly gender announcement.  After Isaac and I saw the tell-tell part on the ultrasound saying BOY, we knew that we had to do something humorous to announce this big news!  We are so happy that he is healthy, all parts are where they should be, I don't have gestational diabetes and that he is already growing big (a week ahead of my due date!)  These are the things that truly mattered to us.  After getting home and sharing the news with the boys we had them get in their superhero costumes and we took our picture, giggling all the time to try and get all the boys to look at the camera and get the right shot! (Thanks Mom for taking it!)  We quickly posted it to facebook  for our friends and family awaiting the news.  Isaac also thought it would be fun to post it in the humorous section on reddit.com.   I was fine with that, not thinking anything of it.   By the end of the day it had been upvoted from that section to the front page of reddit with a lot of really nice or humorous comments.  Of course with all things there are opposites, so there were also mean and vulgar comments too.  From there in went downhill fast.  Many more negative comments came and it saddened my sweet hubby, who just wanted to share our wonderful news in a fun way!  As I prepared to leave for camp, I told him not to worry about what others thought and we should move past this.  I really didn't care what others thought and it really was none of their business if we had 5 kids or 500 of them! (BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!!!!)
Girls Camp was located in a place where there wasn't cell or any kind of coverage, so I had to leave my electronic addiction behind, and just enjoy being in the wilderness with some amazing ladies and young women!  Of course we forgot some stuff and a trip back into the real world was needed, which I gladly volunteered to take.  I decided to just check in on my facebook to see what had been happening in the entire day and a half I had been away.  I was shocked to see that several friends had posted a link to the huffington post where out gender announcement had made an appearance! (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/09/boy-pregnancy-announcemen_n_3567620.html)  I later learned that there was once again many comments about OUR CHOICE to have so many kids, about how we are continuing to overpopulate the world ( I thought that was just something they said in the 80s and sang about in the musical Saturdays Warriors), how we shouldn't try anymore for a girl, asking how could we afford all these children...and some other comments that were so vulgar they do not merit repeating.  This of course saddened me, but it also got me thinking...what is happening in our world, that someone has to take something sweet and innocent like a gender announcement and turn it into something mean, vulgar, and down right rude.  I appreciated the comments that stood up for us and our choices, especially those made by friends in our behalf.   As I pondered these things my thoughts turned to my core beliefs and I wanted to take a moment, or maybe 2 and stand up for the decisions Isaac and I made to have a family full of rowdy, crazy, sweet, lovable boys!
I grew up in a family of all boys (2 older brother and 2 younger brothers).  Isaac has 2 brothers, one older and one younger. (All these boys should of been an indication as to what I would probably have)  Isaac and I married young (once again our choice), I was 20 and he was 22.   Right from the start we both knew that we wanted a large family and we started trying to make that a reality.  It took us a year to finally get a positive pregnancy result.  We were ECSTATIC!  We were going to have a baby and 9 months later we welcome Boy #1 into our lives.  About a year later we decided that he needed a sibling, so we started trying for #2.  Month after month we hoped to find out that another one was on its way, but it didn't happen.  After a year of trying we decided to get everything checked out and later found out that the likelihood of us having more kids was very, very slim.  Heartbroken and knowing it would be a while before we could afford to adopt, we enjoyed our little boy and continued to hope that he would have a brother or sister someday.
    For those of you that do not know, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I am proud to declare that fact.  We believe that a family is central to happiness and the purpose of life here on earth, that children are an important part of that plan. (Here is the link to the Church's beliefs on the family http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation ) I have a firm faith in the power of prayer and also in miracles.  I knew that what I wanted was a righteous desire.  This time of waiting and wanting was hard for me, physically and emotionally.  I went to my knees in prayer often asking for another child to bless our family, but unfortunately that answer at that time was "No, not now."  After another year of trying I began to accept that maybe our son was to be our only one, and changed my prayers from "Please send another child to us" to "May I accept thy will".  It was hard at first, but eventually I grew happier and knew that I was going to be OK.  Then a few months later, miraculously, and that is what it was a miracle, we found out we were expecting another child!  To say we were happy would be an understatement.  It was a blessing and a joy!  Four weeks later we went to the doctor for our first appointment and got the surprise of our lives.  We were not only expecting 1, but were having TWINS!!!!!  Shocked but thoroughly happy we brought 2 healthy, big boys into our family.  Although it was hard, financially, physically and emotionally we knew we had been blessed.
At this point many people asked if we were done having kids.  It was a discussion that Isaac and I had talked about and we decided that from that point on, we would happily accept whatever children our Heavenly Father needed to send to our family.  It was no longer in our hands but in his, because he truly worked a miracle to allow us to have these handsome boys.  Honestly we would have been happy with just the 3, but almost 3 years later we welcomed yet another boy into our family.  Now I have 4 happy, healthy, energetic, and fun boys with that 5th one on the way.
I am not a perfect mom.  I sometimes yell, cry, and need my secret chocolate stash to get me through the day.  Parenting is hard! The boys whine about chores I ask them to do, complain about being bored, moan about practicing their instrument or doing their homework , fight about a destroyed Lego set or a toy that was taken away from them.  They fall down and get boo boos that need cleaning and a kiss.  I continually have to replenishing the fridge with food that seems to disappear minutes after I put it in there (I can't even imagine what my grocery bill is going to be like when they are teenagers).  I stay up and worry about whether they are being nice to their friends, whether they have friends, if I am doing enough to teach them about being polite and how to live right.  It is a hard, full time job, but NEVER EVER do I regret the decision my husband and I made to bring these boys into the world and into our family.  For every hard moment there are at least 5 happy moments that make up for it.  Nothing can beat a little snuggle bug curled up next to me when he is frightened, sick or just in need of comfort.  Nothing can beat the little homemade presents I get on holidays or birthdays.  Nothing beats going on outings as a family and seeing the smiles on their faces when they climb up a big rock or find a cool bug.  Their laughter is infectious.  They are like their dad always trying to make a joke or get a laugh out of someone.  Their precious eyes melt my heart and make me give into their requests probably a bit too often.  Their excitement to greet me after I have been away for a day, a few hours, or even when I just return to a room after only being gone for a moment or two, makes my heart soar with happiness because I know that I have 4 1/2 little miracles in my life.  They have chosen to be in our family and I would not give any of them up or regret, even for a second that we didn't stop after just 1 or 3 or 4.
Now we have boy number 5 on the way.  I look forward to holding him in my arms.  I look forward to watching him grow up.  To melt me with his little eyes.  To snuggle with me when he needs that comfort.  To see him smile when he discovers something new.  To see that excitement when I come into the room.  As far as I am concerned, that is why I am here.  I am here to be a mother.  To be a comforter.  To give encouragement. To teach.  To listen.  To be there for my kids.
 I may be hard financially, but we will survive.  Will we be able to take them on extravagant, expensive vacations, probably not, but we will be able to make memories as a family.  We will be able to spend time together in the home and out in the world.  We go on drives through the mountains, take them on hikes, play games, talk superheros and, as you can tell by the picture, play dress up.  I don't think they will suffer if we don't get them everything their heart desires, but I hope and pray that what we not be able to give them materially wise, we will make up with that laughing, fun, loving home we surround them in, and to me that makes me happy.